hello stranger

back to red

spring flowers

yes, it’s been a while, longer than i expected. not sure if anyone’s still out there, if anyone’s bothered to stop by. but it’s ok really, if no one did.

i’ve been spending the last month or so moving in, getting settled, reassessing my life, this blog, where i want to go with it and with just everything in general. i’ve been spending time making things and enjoying my husband and daughter and the fact that i feel happy again after not feeling happy at all for a good long time.

***

i have had a hellish year. really, a hellish two years. the end of my pregnancy was complicated (breech baby, blood pressure issues, seriously late baby, complicated birth), and after she was born i was depressed and had some major adjustment issues. nothing felt the same. p. was an awful napper and sleeper, until well after her first birthday. 20-30 minute naps, if she even took them. wakeups every hour or two through the night, every single night. it was soul-sucking. i was on the verge of insanity. we all were, really…my marriage was on the verge, it all seemed to be going, as the brits say, a bit pear-shaped.

about 7 months after p. was born we packed up and moved from SF to NYC, chasing some weird dream. a dream to go back to the fantasy NY we thought would make us happy. but our recent experience there was pretty hellish. our apartment was completely horrific and overpriced, our neighbors were loud and obnoxious, playing music until all hours (see also, related: baby who didn’t really sleep).

fate smiled on us six months into the lease: we we were able to find a legal way out of the apartment situation, just as my husband found a new job, one that would take us temporarily to chicago for about six months, and then permanently to CT, just north of NYC.

***

i am not sure if it’s the fact that i am in a new town, in a great apartment, the fact that my daughter has become an awesome person and a better sleeper, or that it’s spring (and it’s GORGEOUS!!), but i’m finally starting to feel like i am coming out of a long, dark, and impenetrable fog. i’m finally starting to feel happy again.

thank you, universe.

***

what does this mean for blogging stuffs?

well, i’m still figuring it all out…where i want this blog to go.

i’m not sure if i like where it’s gone the past couple years while i idled along, just trying to make it through each day. i feel like i’ve gotten away from what means something to me (making things, thinking deep thoughts/asking deep questions), and i want to get back to those things in earnest here, if i can find a way to do so.

i’m not sure if i want to call this a “fashion blog,” if at all. i don’t feel like it suits me, or what i am about, though i suppose that most of what i do, think and write about is clearly “fashion-related”. i know that makes no sense. but am i doing a “typical” fashion blog? what does that mean these days anyhow? i am leery of pigeonholing myself or putting myself in a category that i don’t deserve to be placed in (as there are people in the genre doing a much better job matching the definition than i).

i have a lot of questions i am asking myself. a lot of soul-searching i (still) need to do. there are answers i need to find before i can really go forward here in earnest. as such, i’m going to take my time and just check in when i can. it’s the best i can do until i can find a way to interface with the world in a way that feels real and comfortable for me.

***

one thing i do know: i want to give wardrobe_remix it’s own bloggy home. it’s probably crazy late for such things (w_r will be FIVE years old this september) but better late than never? stay tuned for more info on that front as i get my act together.

52 comments

  1. Sandra

    I feel like I’ve had a hellish year too and just now starting to look forward to things again, so I’m right there with you babe. Hopefully fate throws a few more smiles! I’ve also been questioning what exactly I want to blog about lately. I think a wardrobe_remix blog could be interesting. Five years seems about right, after all, most kids don’t start to write lots of words until then either. πŸ™‚

  2. paisleyapron

    It’s really lovely to hear from you. I can completely empathize with the post-birth trauma and hope you are getting the help you need to heal.

    Just my two cents, not that it matters at all, but I would love to see what you have been making.

    My very best wishes to you as you work through what this blog should be.

  3. sarah

    missed you! been checking in while you’re away, figuring you’d be back when things settled; it takes some time.

    Good to see you and hear from you again! Good luck with sorting the blog out – I, for one, would love to see what you are making! –
    but mostly, it’s just good to hear you’re well.

  4. sarah

    maybe we’re just nuts in the first place for expecting things to be manageable or to come together reasonably seamlessly. i kind of think sometimes things need to be difficult and on the very edge of total disintegration, so that we can really feel the value of a little security, a little complacency, a little boredom. we kind of have to wreck the illusions so that we can live properly in the real world. maybe.
    in any case. i think i know how you feel. and i’m one of many that is right happy to have you back.
    xs

  5. PepperReed

    Hello You! Glad to see you back and that you’re taking much needed time for yourself. As wonderful as the blog is, Life is the real deal and we can wait. Happy Spring!

  6. Mimi

    I’m glad you’re recuperating from your debilitating fog. And as for your bloggy stuff, I’ve always loved your questions and thoughts about things fashion-related, so more seems like a good thing to me!

  7. Katie

    I’m so glad things have improved and smoothed out so much! Those first 18 months are really challenging. Welcome back!

  8. jill

    so nice to see you pop on my feed list on my friend page. im glad you are settling in and feeling like spring in lots of aspects of your life. πŸ™‚

  9. angela | the painted house

    It is good to see a new post from you–missed you! There is nothing like a sleepless baby to completely over turn the universe. And moving cross country, in addition. Thank you for your honesty. I think these adaptions are especially challenging for the creative person–don’t you think? So glad you are in a better spot to shine and grow.

    I LOVE your deep thoughts/questions posts–always a new perspective for me, something new to think about.

  10. Nicole Thompson

    Oh Trisha, I’ve been following your blog for years and am inspired by your candidness, humor, and originality. We all go through rough patches, though few want to admit it, and even fewer do anything about it. So congratulations on taking the time to reasses things, focus on yourself and family. Wherever, and whenever, you take the blog will be amazing because you are amazing!

  11. alison

    i can totally relate to the weird adjustment period after having the baby. i am still dealing with it almost two years later! but, i’m glad you’re talking about it here because it’s nice to know that other people are going through it and coming out OK. I’d also love to see the things you’ve been making. it’s always inspiring to see the what other mom’s are getting done in their free time. i always feel like i’m mis-using the spare time i have (when the baby naps or is asleep at night) so yeah, too much computer time and not enought making things time, i guess. but glad to see you’re back, this is one of my favorite blogs to read!

  12. Jocelyne

    Welcome back dear!! I feel like I am coming out of a fog too, breaking up from a relationship that hasn’t been working for a long time and finding my social scene and new friends. It feels really good! I am so happy for you and glad you are feeling back to normal. It’s hard to be in a bad head space, I know I just went through it too. I’ll be looking forward to whats you have in store! πŸ™‚

  13. Brumby

    Hey Tricia,
    Firstly, I am sorry to hear you have such a rough ride, I did wonder if there was not a little emotional turmoil after Poppy’s birth from your posts over the last wee while. Similarly though I am really pleased to hear that you are now starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel.

    I loved the format that you used to have, and have really missed you and your posts, I have NEVER found a blog I enjoyed reading as much as yours, the balance of outfits, crafts (sewing, knitting etc), the amazing photography and intelligent debate about ‘fashion’, textiles and design, the thought of that type of content returning to Bits and Bobbins is seriously exciting.

    I am looking forward to being inspired again!
    Brumby

  14. Beanstew

    hello, i’ve never left a comment here before, but i have always followed your blog. so excuse this comment from a complete stranger but… i’m really happy for you! really happy that everything is looking up and that you are happier than you have been. :]

    your new plans for the blog sound great. those thoughts you have/things you make are the exact reason i started visiting your blog on a regular basis, so am really glad you are thinking of going back to that.

    hope things keep improving (it sounds like they are really great now!). all the best. ❀

  15. Tracy

    Your absence was completely and utterly understandable. So too is your state of mind flux. The birth of a child is not only the birth of child but the birth of a new life and mindset for you and your hubby as well. This take some growing and nurturing. It will be a pleasure to watch you and your family grow and evolve in whatever direction it takes. Welcome back, hope you stick around in some capacity. :o)

  16. kim

    I do hope you keep blogging! And, I wouldn’t really call your blog a fashion blog either. Maybe more of a lifestyle blog? Either way, you’ve got me excited for future “making things” posts. I hope you do continue, in some shape or form. Here’s to a brighter future. Glad you are feeling better.

  17. Julie Mack

    Welcome back. Glad you’re beginning to resurface. I am excited to see wherever you take this blogβ€”you are inspiring and thoughtful. I am positive that whereever you do decide to take this is will be most glorious.
    Best of everything to you and yours!

  18. kasia wska

    thank You, dear, for writing this – things i assumed that were happening but wasn’t sure and was too shy to ask. i’m really happy about the good news and: heal well:). heal away:)!
    when it comes to the blog, i always understood it more like an anthropology/sociology blog than a fashion blog. i like it, i read it, i need it! don’t go away.
    and i’m happy to hear about the w_r blog – better late than never! it’s an awesome idea.
    take care!

  19. Nieves

    Welcome back, Tricia! I’m happy to see you again and happy to know you are leaving behind a rough time. I hope everything will work out well in your new place for you and your family, I’m sure it will!

    Just don’t waste too much time trying to analyse or define yourself or the kind of work you’re doing, wether you are a “fashion blogger” or not… You have a great sense of style, a unique taste and special vision for everything style-fashion-visualthings related, so just follow your instints. Some things, some people, can’t be easily classified, and that’s just what make them special.

  20. zoe

    Thank you for sharing about the “foggy” time in your life. I’m in a similar tough adjustment period in my life after my daughter’s birth, and as you are a step ahead of me (I gave birth a year after you) it’s comforting to know that the fog may clear out. Mine is still a poor sleeper that cries almost all day long, driving me to insanity and a totally not-creative life, but I hope that in a few months all this will be just a bad dream! We all just have to find a new balance after a baby, don’t we?
    You’ve been an inspiration for me for years, and you still are!

  21. jesse.anne.o

    Glad to hear you’re doing better! I’m sure we’ll like whatever you come up with. I think people are allowed to just do a blog writing whatever interests them but I also have trouble aligning my thoughts with that when I write, too.

  22. jennine

    i’m still reading! and yes, please do keep blogging…
    it’s been a crazy few years for the world it feels like… its hard to believe how much has happened and how much has changed. it’s also a good time to go easy on yourself and yeah, those are some pretty big things you’re dealing with! it’s amazing!

    but living situations really do play a big part in it too, i finally got into a place wehre i feel like i’m home, after two years, it’s nice to cozy up and really relax. it works wonders for the soul.

    can’t wait to see what’s in store for you!

  23. jen

    welcome back! i will love reading your insights and observations whether you post once an hour or once a year. for me, your blog (and wardrobe remix) is much more about people than it is about fashion, and that’s what makes it really interesting.

    glad to hear it is springtime in all areas of your life.

  24. ms. spinach

    your honesty is so refreshing. i think we all go through these periods and feel so alone. i’m glad you’ve found sunshine at the end of the long tunnel. we’ve (obviously!) all missed you, and can’t wait to have you back in this blogosphere, in any way. yay!

  25. Jessica

    Thank you for sharing so much. I am very sorry to hear that you’ve been having a hard time for so long.
    I am always delighted when I see you have a new post, however long you need between them. As for labels, is yours not more of a style blog than a fashion blog? That’s how I would label it, don’t know if it helps at all.
    BTW, did you notice on flickr that you have not only created a hugely blossoming group, but you have also coined a phrase (‘remixed”) that is now used much more widely than in the group – ie other groups, blogs etc whose members are not on w_r. Cool stuff.
    Thanks again for all the inspiration you provide!
    Best wishes, sending positive energies your way, I hope it’s all up from now on.
    Jessica.

  26. Hyena In Petticoats

    I’m still here Tricia!

    It sounds like you can see the light at the end of the tunnel now – and I wish you all the best, I think many new mums go through exactly the same thing, and the sleeping seems to form a huge part of that – I’m glad to hear that you all seem to be getting back on track…..

    One of the things I missed from you during your quiet patch was seeing you make things – I never really saw your blog as a fashion blog in the first place – more of a seamstress (and other things) blog – I learnt so much about sewing just from looking at your projects, squinting at the seams, and mulling over how they were constructed.

    To me, this is you at your best – putting things together – whether sewn, or knitted or otherwise, using your own crazy beautiful style. Yours was one of the first blogs I ever visited, and three years on into my own blogging life, I can easily say that I have you (as well as a few key others) to thank for prodding me into my own journey on the internets…..

    Anyway – ramble ramble – I look forward to the next chapter – welcome back!

    Leah xxx

  27. Kate @ Earth vs. The Wild Heart

    Yay, bits ‘n’ bobbins is back & happy! I’m so pleased that you’re finally in a better place, both emotionally & physically. I’m looking forward to hearing more about your happy family & more of the posts you used to do. Also extremely looking forward to the proposed w_r blog! It’s never too late :]

  28. GlamaRuth

    Welcome back! To your own sense of self and well-being, as well as to teh interwebs! Whatever direction you decide to take it, I just hope you keep blogging. And for what it’s worth, I’ve never thought of you as a fashion blogger, but rather a style (which as we all know is far different and more elusive than mere fashion) and culture blogger.

  29. beth

    hi there: glad to see a post from you–and that your world is becoming more light-filled and warm. i love reading your musings on art, craft, making things, fashion, things that inspire you. as i’m about to be a new mom (my baby girl is due in 4 weeks!) i also enjoy stories about your little poppy. hugs to you as you figure out the next phase of your blog.

  30. Lucy

    Nice to have you back Tricia, sorry to hear that you have been having a horrid time but glad to hear you are coming out of the other side, I always check your blog for updates and refer back to the older posts for inspiration so will continue to enjoy your posts as and when they come πŸ™‚

    xx Lucy

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  32. Buttercup Rocks

    Hi there, Tricia. Glad to hear you’re feeling so much better and settled. I don’t comment often but I always read the blog and am constantly checking for updates. I love the sound of a Wardrobe Remix blog too – most exciting. Welcome back!

  33. Ilka

    hi tricia

    it’s good to have you back and feeling happier, and the fact that you are emerging from your cloud gives me hope. i (like so many others) have followed your blog and musings for many years, i think yours was one of the first blogs i ever discovered. i enjoy wardrobe remix, but enjoyed your blog even before then, when it was just you, although it’s always nice to see what people are wearing out there in the world. i like your way of thinking, your style and attitude, which always filter through, even when you aren’t trying, and i’m sure that whatever you decide to do will be a success (because that’s your style!)

  34. Erin

    I think it would be awesome if this was a Tricia blog…that’s why I come here, to read your thoughts and opinions. I’m glad you’re feeling more yourself again.

  35. Andrea

    I have been on w_r since 2006, which I guess is close to its early days πŸ™‚ I have to say that I appreciate your blog post today. I’m in the midst of some crazy life altering changes myself and it was refreshing to see someone else come out of it okay.

    That said… I have never really felt that w_r was about fashion. For me, it was a space for creativity & inspiration in clothing. I did not quite understand the “remix” aspect at first, but after a while it came to mean something to me that was indicative of a sense of utilizing what you have to add your personal touch of style. Not necessarily that it was about fashion or being stylish. Am I rambling? Probably, I guess I just want to say I know what you mean and I like the blog & w_r πŸ™‚

  36. Ilka

    hi again … i was thinking this morning about your blog and thought i should add that i have never thought of it as a fashion blog, but rather a blog that celebrates individuality, quirkiness and flair. it has become a source of inspiration to me – thank you!

  37. OlelΓ©

    I’ve recently discovered your blog and am glad to know you are back again. Lots of luck for all your new projects, whatever they may be. πŸ™‚

  38. bestie

    For what it’s worth Tricia, I (and tons of other people, I’m sure!) have been checking in on your blog while you were gone. I really missed your posts, and I’m glad you’ve settled down now. I’m sorry to hear about all those things you went through — I had no idea. But I am thankful you decided to still stick with blogging and the wardrobe_remix community. So whatever it is you decide for your blog and w_r, I am sure it will be for the best. (:

    Lots of love from Manila,
    Bestie

  39. Kristin

    I feel you! I had major issues with my pregnancy (including the lovely BP problems)and it just gets you off to a really rough start when you bring your baby home.
    Glad you are feeling better!

  40. jani

    Hi Tricia, I’m sure you can see from all the posts, We all love you and feel for you.
    You know, I’ve been following your blog for so many years,its just good to hear from you, and that you’re feeling a bit better. Sorry things have been so rough. So many of us can surely relate.

    We’ll keep checkin’ in and anything you decide to write, Or not, will be fine, great in fact. cause its you,and you’re great.

    xxx, jani

  41. Kristina

    Glad you’re back. This last one was a rough one for me too, but I feel like I am getting settled.

    Happy I checked in on your post today… I too have followed your blog for years. Hope you will keep writing, and not feel a pressure to define this space. Xo!

  42. cynara (stitchtowhere)

    it is great to hear from you tricia, and i am so so happy to hear that things are looking up for and your family. whatever shape this and w_r take, i am lucky to be reading and participating in your wonderful creations. w_r has put me in touch with so many amazing people (present company included) and for that i am eternally grateful. onward! upward!

  43. lindsey clare

    i’m so glad you’re back! i’m on a bit of an unoffical blog break myself so i know what it can be like… sort of wanting to redefine my blog and think about what it really means to me, etc.

    anyway, i look forward to any and all posts you make in the future. hooray!

  44. Jenn

    Just wanted to stop in, say hi, say I am so glad that things feel like they are working for you now.

  45. raya

    I always loved seeing your photos pop up on my flickr stream, but feel like I have also lost touch with a lot of the Internet lately and was happy to stumble upon your blog again. My son is just over 2 years old & I can absolutely relate to the no-sleep makes us insane feeling – he was also a horrible sleeper until about 18 mos. SO glad that you are feeling yourself again. Happy thoughts…

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